When November Tests You: How to Reset, Refocus, and Lead Forward
Every year around this time, I feel less like a leadership development facilitator and more like a soothsayer. Sometimes even a therapist. I’m working with program cohorts and clients who feel stretched and powerless. I desperately need them to see beyond the Winter break, to hold onto the confidence, perspective, and sense of hope they started the year with. If I fail, a few of my charges will withdraw before they even had a chance to really lead.
By December, most educators feel like they’re running on fumes. The systems we set up in August are now carrying the weight of real people, real behaviours, real demands. The optimism we started with is harder to access. For many, November is the threshold: some cross it and lie flat for the rest of the year, doing only what’s required, keeping their heads down, keeping their relationships transactional. Others push forward with intensity, hyper-focusing on the only things that feel manageable. They guard their space fiercely, sometimes to the point where asking them to consider anything new feels like a personal attack.
It’s a predictable pattern. I’ve seen it every year of my career, in myself and in others. And if we don’t deliberately interrupt it, November becomes the month where people stop growing and start surviving.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
As we move into December we can take stock, recalibrate, and choose how we want to finish the year. It can be the month we advocate for what we need, clarify what matters, and acknowledge the work that has already been done.
Advocating for Yourself and Others
Self-advocacy is not resistance. It’s clarity. It’s the difference between withdrawing into survival mode and stepping forward with purpose.
December is the moment to make your focus unmistakably clear. First, for yourself, and then for others.
What are the three things that matter most for the new year?
What will genuinely move your students or your team forward?
What are the responsibilities that align with your strengths, and what are the distractions that quietly erode your effectiveness?
When you articulate this clearly, you give others something to respect. People don’t resent boundaries. They resent ambiguity.
In many of the conversations I’ve had with teams, I’ve noticed that clarity diffuses defensiveness. As I wrote in “That’s Not My Job”, resistance often comes from misalignment or a lack of shared expectations, not from unwillingness. If we want healthier dynamics, we need to practice explaining not just what we’re focusing on, but why. This helps others understand that your priorities and how it aligns with theirs.
When we model this openly, we create space for our colleagues to do the same. A team that can speak honestly about priorities is a team that can carry each other through the toughest months.
Recognising Accomplishments
By the end of November, many educators feel they’ve sacrificed a lot and received little in return. It’s not the fault of any one person, it’s the natural accumulation of a demanding profession. But this is precisely why recognition matters so much right now.
In “I Want to See More of That,” I wrote about how noticing small acts is one of the most powerful forms of appreciation we have. And up to this point of the year, those small acts are often the only things keeping schools running. A colleague offering to cover a duty. A teacher staying late to support a struggling student. A quiet moment of encouragement in a staff room where everyone is stretched thin.
We cannot underestimate the impact of saying, “I noticed that,” or “Your effort mattered today.” Recognition is not a strategy, it’s a lifeline. It reminds people that they are still seen and still valued, even when they feel depleted.
Seeing the Forest Through the Trees
The biggest challenge coming out of November is perspective. When stress narrows our view, everything feels urgent, personal, and heavy. We lose the long game. But as leaders it’s our role to widen the frame.
December is simply the inflection point where we decide whether the year will end in survival or progress.
This is why we need to pause now. Now. Look at what’s working. Look at what isn’t. Look at where the team is healthy and where it’s drifting, as I outlined in “How Healthy Is Your Team?” This kind of evaluation isn’t a luxury; it’s the only way to regain control of the narrative.
Because there is still so much time left.
We forget that a school year is long enough for reinvention. We forget that goals can be reframed, energy can be renewed, and difficult relationships can be reset. In “The Second Half,” I wrote about how much can change when we give ourselves permission to start again instead of waiting for the calendar to reset.
December offers that same opportunity. It’s the moment to ask, “What do I want the rest of my year to stand for?” and then to realign your choices accordingly.
Moving Forward Together
If there’s one message I want leaders to hear this month, it’s this:
You are not as stuck as November made you feel.
You can take control of your priorities. You can set boundaries without guilt. You can recognise the effort of others in a way that lifts the entire team. And you can re-establish a sense of purpose that carries you into the new year with clarity instead of exhaustion.
Helping others see the forest through the trees is the work of leadership. Finding meaning in the messy middle, and helping others do the same.
Unless you are a Southern Hemisphere school, now is not the end of anything.
It’s the turning point.
